


who i am is a big time believer, that people can change (that you don't have to leave her)

by irisella



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: F/F, M/M, as always, penny's wonderful, they're sibs & they're lovely & that's that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-24 22:54:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20022355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irisella/pseuds/irisella
Summary: Penny’s just finished slicing up the last of the vegetables when Mordelia bursts into the kitchen.





	who i am is a big time believer, that people can change (that you don't have to leave her)

**Author's Note:**

> title is from lana del rey's 'mariner's apartment complex' bc it's lovely & also SUCH a bop.
> 
> also, please let baz & mordelia interact in wayward son. please.

Penny’s just finished slicing up the last of the vegetables when Mordelia bursts into the kitchen.

 _Storms,_ is the better word for it. Pale and young and wondrously graceful, bundled up in one of Baz’s grey LSE hoodies and pajama shorts. Strands fall from the knot on top of her head to frame her face. Penny’s always had horrible eyesight, and it’s a little past 9 p.m, so the bright white of the kitchen light is making it especially worse for her. But even from here, Penny can see Mordelia’s been crying.

She remembers the first time Baz had brought her over to his and Simon’s flat. She’d been nine years old then, and Penny had to hold back her protests as she pulled on her hair and drank all the hot chocolate she could get her tiny hands on. Mordelia Grimm had been a small ball of sarcasm and excitement, and Penny had only really been exclusively nice to her because she was Baz’s little sister—and Penny had her own fair share of experiences with annoying siblings—but that was nearly ten years ago. Penny had seen Mordelia come home drunk for the first time, stumbling around her brother’s room in heels that she hadn’t learned how to use quite yet. She’d been there when Mordelia’s said boyfriend broke up with her months later, and then afterwards when she’d cried her heart out in their bathroom. 

Penny sets down the knife carefully, prodding over to the sink to wash the bits of basil from her hands as Mordelia throws herself into one of the little marble stools. Her hands terribly unsteady from where she folds them on the countertop, and Penny has to take a second to think about how to go on about this. Mordelia’s difficult when she wants to be, even more so when she’s being pushed. 

Penny pushes up the rim of her glasses, not wanting to push her quite yet. “Mordelia, I thought you were asleep.”

Mordelia’s eyes dart around the room, obviously uncomfortable. “I’m seventeen, Pen. I haven’t had a bedtime since I was ten,” and then, in a quiet, painfully vulnerable voice that faintly reminds her of Baz’s teenage self, “It’s Stevie.”

She’d also been there when Mordelia had come out to Malcom.

It’d been a few months already, and it’d taken Penny little to no time to get accustomed to knowing Stevie as Mordelia’s _girlfriend_ rather than as her best friend. Mordelia had told Baz and Simon first, and Penny had found out only because she’d come from the airport that same afternoon to find Baz sitting primly on the couch, legs and arms crossed with petulant disdain. Stevie sat across from him, looking equally determined. Simon had shot her a look from the living room that screamed, _Penny, you’re home!_ and also, _please help._ Penny had patted Stevie on the shoulder twice and set down her bags in the guest room, waiting for the front door to open and close again before coming back out. She hugged Baz for a long time, who had wearily uttered a muffled, “I didn’t think she’d start dating yet,” against her shoulder. 

Penny had laughed, because really, it was inevitable. Stevie looked at Mordelia like Simon looked at Baz, like Agatha looked at Esme. She’d come to find that it really was a wonderful thing; she looked at Micah like that, too. 

Mordelia buries her head in her hands with a small sob. “I’m not good enough for her.”

Penny wipes her hands on the towel and rounds the marble island to envelop her in a gentle hug. Mordelia shakes against her for a few minutes, breaths coming in little pitiful hiccups. She gathers herself quickly afterwards, and Penny sits down next to her and covers her hand with her own, wondering what it was that made her so upset, and if they might’ve broken up. She quickly dismisses the thought. Stevie’s tough and smart and quick tempered, but she’s always handled her relationship with Mordelia with upmost care and affection. They’ve fought before, like any healthy couple would, and they’ve always come out stronger. And, they _always_ manage to talk about it before things get too bad between them. Which still surprises her sometimes, Mordelia’s a Grimm, which makes her exceptionally stubborn by default. 

“Yes, you are,” Penny says, rubbing her wispy knuckles with her thumb. “You’re spectacular. What’s this about?”

“We got into this fight. Stevie’s applying to universities in America next year, so that she can stay close to her dad. It’s great, I know. But I—”

Penny squeezes her fingers. 

“I can’t go with her. I have to stay here. I have to.”

There it is.

Penny nods and purses her lips tightly before reaching over for the tissues. She waits until after Mordelia’s wiped her face clean before she says, “You _have_ to stay here?”

Mordelia clutches the wad of paper in her free hand. She looks ready to start crying again, and Penny’s grateful that Baz and Simon decided tonight for date night. Mordelia hates crying in front of her brother. It drains her out completely. 

“I don’t want to loose him again. If I go, It’ll be like before. And my dad, he’d never allow me to go off to America with anyone, much less a girl—”

“Hey,” Penny cuts in, pulling her hand away to take off her glasses. “Listen to me. You’ll always have Baz, you know he adores you. And you’ll always have Simon, and Fiona, and everyone else who loves you. You’ll still have your mother. And your father—”

Mordelia’s breath catches.

“—Your father loves you too. He just has a different way of showing it, and trust me. He’s not the same man he was when Baz came to him with Simon, okay? If that’s what you’re worried about.”

Mordelia sniffs, nodding once and uncurling just slightly. Malcom had taken note of Mordelia’s bisexuality with brutal stiffness at first, but after a rough talk with Baz and another with Daphne, he’d been quick to apologize and invite Stevie to dinner, which was awkward and tense and also entirely necessary. Now, Penny knew, Mordelia’s parents and siblings alike were more than fond of Stevie, in a way they hadn’t been when both the girls were younger.

“And, Lia. You have time to worry about where you want to go,” Penny says, with an easy smile.

Mordelia laughs weakly. “I suppose you’re right.”

Penny hums.

“I should call Stevie.”

“In the morning,” Penny says, not unkindly. “You should rest for now.”

They sit together in silence for a while, not really speaking. It’s nearly ten, and Mordelia could stay awake for hours, but Penny’s head is staring to drop and she has to run to the grocery store in the morning, so she kisses Mordelia’s forehead and gives her one last embrace before making her way to one of the guest rooms. A little while later, she hears the door open and the muffled sound of laughter coming in through the thin walls. 

She hears the voices greet Mordelia, and then shuffling, which she thinks means the boys have gone to their room. But then she hears Baz’s voice, quieter than before, with an edge to his tone that bounders on concerned. Mordelia’s crying again.

Penny’s not worried; Mordelia’s in good hands. She tosses and turns for a few seconds more and then texts Simon a quick, _Hey. Don’t go into the kitchen tonight. Not even for biscuits. Mordelia needs to have a talk with her brother, it’s not bad, I promise._

Simon texts back, _U got it,_ followed by a bunch of cowboy emojis. 

She sleeps.

* * *

When Penny goes into the living room early the next morning, she finds Baz already on the couch. He’s sleep-ridden and messy, wearing a white T-shirt and grey joggers she’s sure belong to Simon. He perks up when he sees her, giving her a small, tired smile. Glasses askew. It makes her heart warm. She sits down in a chair in front of him, careful of the cup of earl grey in her hands, and smiles right back, knowing.

“Bunce. Thank you,” Baz says, and he sounds a little hoarse. “For talking to her last night. It appears it’s been bothering her for a while.”

Penny waves him away with a flick of her hand. “It’s nothing. Mordelia’s my favorite Grimm, anyway.”

His lips quirk up fully, grey eyes bright. “But not your favorite Pitch.”

She pretends to think about it, and then she hums. “Hmm. I don’t know, Fiona’s been growing on me lately.”

Baz chuckles and offers a silent nod. It’s his own way of saying, _I love you too._

Penny takes a small sip of her tea and then sets it down on the expensive glass table next to her. She remembers when they’d picked out this place and how nervous Simon had been about it. He’d been afraid to knock something over with his tail, or worse, crash into one of the living room tables and send it shattering. Baz had told him they’d just replace it, which made Simon livid. 

“Did she talk to Stevie yet?” She asks, leaning back against the throw pillows. 

Baz’s right eyebrow goes up. “Stevie called her early in the morning. Mordelia answered and went right back to sleep. They’re going on a date to park later today.”

Penny smiles a little. “The park, huh?”

“Mordelia likes it there.”

Penny nods, amused. Usually, she’d been fifth wheel on plenty of double dates during her visits. Baz and Mordelia always agreed on going out to eat in fancy restaurants and museums. Simon and Stevie groaned in protest, but went along anyways. Parks and cafes were reserved for lazy mornings and quiet afternoons, when the Grimms had nothing to owe to the world, not even their honor. They were Baz’s favorite thing, Penny had always recognized that. She was sure they were Mordelia’s too.

Penny leans forward suddenly, seriously. Baz prepares himself with a tight inhale. 

“If she does end up going to America, Mordelia will always have a place with us, Baz. I hope you know that.”

Baz’s smile an unmasked thing. A rare luxury usually reserved for Simon. 

“Yes, Pen,” he says, marginally more awake than before. “I know.”

Mordelia appears by the doorway a bit later, floating in with a bright grin, her long hair loose and straight as a pin, falling over her shoulders. She’s changed into a pretty dress that’s undeniably Gucci and thrifted combat boots that Fiona had gifted her for Christmas. She settles next to her brother, and he wraps an arm around her shoulders without a word.

“We were just talking about you, you little nightmare.”

Mordelia jabs him between the ribs. “Be nice, Basilton. I’m fresh out of a crisis.”

Penny scoffs and goes over to greet her with the tea she’d set out. She heats it up with a quick _Some like it hot!_ and offers it to her without much show. Mordelia takes it with a bright, grateful smile. 

“Where’s Simon?” She asks.

“Running off a hangover,” Baz answers. “He had a few too many mimosas las night.”

Mordelia rolls her eyes fondly and proceeds to tell them all about the dream she had last night. There are multitudes of giant spiders and coiling vines in her description, but also blonde hair and blue eyes and scruffy converse. Baz and Penny share a look, but Mordelia pretends not to notice.

Penny listens to her talk for a while. Whatever she decides to do, wherever she decides to go, they’ll be okay. Mordelia’s dead set on becoming a lawyer; a civil rights attorney, to be exact _—I want to fight for people—_ which had made her brother unequivocally happy. There’d been a time where Mordelia had been one of Baz’s biggest concerns. As had Delphina, Ophelia and Octavian. Now, it’s hard to imagine a month going by without all of them getting together. They’ll be okay. Baz is twenty-eight years old, teaching Political Science at Watford. On track to replacing Mitali as headmaster in a couple of years. Simon owns a bakery and he’s run a home for orphaned, magical children since he was twenty-four. Mordelia gets wonderful grades, plays as forward for the girl’s soccer team. She’s already set as valedictorian. She’s in _love._ The twins are enjoying Watford as fifth years. Octavian’s a newfound all around golden boy (he takes after his mother). They’ll be okay. They’ll _all_ be okay.

Penny lets herself close her eyes as sunlight begins to drift in from an open window. She feels a hand touch her arm, and another pulling it back. When she drifts off to it, succumbing to the noise; it’s a thing of magic, their laughter fills the room. She commits it to memory, something old, and something entirely new.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm on tumblr! come find me @irisella.


End file.
